So far, my experience at Spiral has pushed me to immerse myself
within the Spanish language, go with the flow, and trust that my best effort is
good enough.
Our very first introduction to the
therapist overseeing our involvement was overwhelming. The program director was
dismayed that we weren't fluent in Spanish and was shocked at how young we were,
for I am only twenty years old, and there’s not much I can do to change that. I
can't say it was a comfortable start. Having only taken a semester of Spanish
at the college level, I wouldn't even consider myself competent enough to carry
on a conversation. I disliked the feeling that I had not lived up to our Director’s
expectations. Speaking with program coordinators at the foundation hosting our
program, I was reassured that it was simply a miscommunication and that it
would all work out. Still, the first couple days were nerve-wracking. The last
thing I wanted to be was a burden to the professionals at Spiral hosting
us.
Our third day at the facility we got to interact
with the clients. This changed everything. We were so warmly welcomed by them!
Those who knew a little English asked us "What's up?" with proud grins
on their faces. I was amazed the first day we sat in on their group therapy how
comfortable they were with us being there. I've been a participant in group
therapy sessions before, and I know how uncomfortable it can be when a new
person enters and the whole dynamic changes. I felt so reassured that I had a
place among them because of their openness and vulnerability even in front of
people much younger than them, who don't even speak their language well.
Today's observation was the most interesting
to me. Generally, one of the group members reads a few pages they have written from
a personal journal about how their weekend or past few days have been. Then,
the others of the group get to provide feedback and commentary about what the
speaker shared. I can pick up on enough of what is happening to acquire
an overview on what each person shares. Today, one of the women who shared
expressed she was having difficulty with her mother. I wasn't able to
understand exactly what the difficulties were, but that didn't keep me from
being able to relate with and empathize with her. I have been astounded
throughout this entire experience by the universality of emotions. All I really
understood about this woman was that she was in some sort of conflict with her
mother, her peers were pushing her to be more independent, and she was so
emotionally exhausted she had hardly gotten out of bed all weekend; as the
tears rolled down her cheeks- I could relate to that.
I have had major doubts throughout this
process about my competence. What I have realized is that my Spanish may not be
up to par, I may not have the technical experience I'd like, but I am still
human. If I can show up to sessions everyday with an open, compassionate heart,
eager to listen and learn, this experience, and any experience really, won't be
lost on me.
Many thanks to the patients of Spiral for
their patience and kindness. I cannot wait to see how my relationship to each
of you develops and grows over the next few weeks.
ACD
